Valium Dispenser

Remember yesterday? A monday? Monday was nothing compared to today, it was a walk in the park, a summer breeze. Today was a full out brawling, yelling, screaming, crying mess. Behavior was out of control for just about every child even the normally very sweet or well behaved ones. It felt more like riot control (and a poor attempt at that) than teaching - literally keping them from killing one another or climbing the walls or destroying the classroom. Crying must be the newest trend for 3 year olds because every child but one (my redman - nothing offensive there, just that he is obsessed with the color red and everything red) cried today at least once and usually more times than I can count. We cried over parents leaving and parents returning, we cried over washing hands, we cried over cleaning up, we cried over sharing toys, we cried over being hit, we cried over hurt feelings, we cried over snack and lunch, we cried over being told no, we cried over not getting a sticker, we cried over being told to sit down, we cried over being told to go to the bathroom, we cried over accidents, we cried over art, we cried over spilled puzzle pieces, we cried over going to sleep then waking up from nap, we cried over who got the musical instruments, we cried over who held the books, we cried over who was first to the door, we just cried and yelled and screamed. We also hit, kicked, punched, smacked, wrestled, hit with objects, scratched, grabbed, pinched, shoved, stomped....

Only one child had a justified reason to cry so much and that was my mr. handsome who was sick today with a fever and was being held by me waiting for a parent to come get him before lunch. Try taking a temperature under the arm on a child who hates it with the world's slowest thermometer - so not fun! I surrendered at 100* - the magic number to call home - even though it had not beeped and was still climbing because he was so miserable.

Another teacher from outside our classroom made the comment that if she was in our class she would need valium to cope with it each day. I quickly responded that we needed to install a valium dispenser on the wall for easy access for teachers in the room to grab some on the go on days like today - like a soap dispenser only way better and more helpful. JOKE Ear plugs may not be a bad idea though as with 5, 6, 7, 8 children crying or screaming it gets hard to listen to at times - kind of like those construction sites where it says you must wear protective ear covering/plugs at all times. We also need hard hats most days...

I received my first student teaching evaluation today and it looks pretty good, I received several ratings of exceptional which is really good so early in the teaching and only one emerging - I need to develop better raport with the kids which I am working on already and will come with spending more time with them and getting to know them. So that is a relief as I had a poor sense of what she thought of me in the classroom and if I was doing well in her opinion.

My art lesson went really well today inspite of the chaos reiging supreme and the children decorated yellow hats for the Man in the Yellow Hat from Curious George. The decorations were my attempts at winter/winter sports items (mittens, scarf, snowball, skis, sled, ice skates) and bananas for Curious George the monkey. All of the hats look really neat and they had fun gluing and sticking things on - except when I had the audacity to run out of snowballs and not have any more anywhere :) Last night I got tired of cutting out shapes and did not cut out quite as many snowballs as other items oops!! She got over it and finished her patten with a new item - I forgot about my highly intellectual perfectionistic princess who would want to make a pattern around her hat. :) gotta love her! Tomorrow is ice skating - toy figures on "rinks" of ice (plastic lids with water frozen in them overnight and a cookie sheet with water frozen in it the same).

So my mind is gone and I am exhausted yet I have a fair amount of paperwork to correct before tomorrow. So its a nice evening with soft music, a favorite drink, and my computer. :P

Mondays, Skiing, and Velcro Walls

One word to describe today: Monday!!! Imagine a monday (you know what I mean) now take that to an extreme.....keep going.....now you may be close. In my classroom you rarely have to guess how any child is feeling because they share their emotions freely, vividly, and loudly. One child was able to express his emotions extremely well during naptime by yelling at one teacher "I hate you!" and yelling in general "I hate this school! I hate it here! I hate being here!". Same child informed me that I was going to be placed in the zoo and locked in a cage forever because I was mean for sitting next to him and making him stay on his cot and remain quiet (oh the travesty, the inhumanity of it all!). My giggle girl was extremely clingy to me today and became so upset if I had to move away from her that I had to reassure her by telling her where I was going, what i was doing, and that I was coming right back. I don't know if the fact that I left on Friday without telling the kids (they were walking down the hall to the gym I think and I had to leave) or if she just did not feel well. I promised her I would not leave without telling her and that helped, so when I went inside for a meeting I told her I was going inside for a few minutes but would look for her when I was done but she had left before I finished. So unlike my happy Giggle girl who will usually smile and be silly if I am silly with her. My firecracker child was lit at both ends today as usual....that child seems so miserable when he gets out of control but like he can not stop himself most of the time. I need to earn his trust and respect but that seems impossible as he responds to nothing (no reinforcements work with him that have been tried - stickers, stamps, praise, food, drinks, toys) and seems truly unable to control himself when asked to do something.

JOKE ( as in do not take seriously in any way, shape or form, do not take as my philosophy of teaching or behavior management, do not think I would ever consider doing this with a child) I decided today we need a large velcro wall in the classroom for desperate moments of aggression control - afix fighting children to wall above one another out of reach and let them yell it out. JUST A JOKE! Although punching bags might be a decent investment to release some of that aggression in some of the children that comes out in inappropriate ways - let them beat the punching bag instead of being so tense and aggressive towards others in the class.

Today I taught my first "lesson" - is art a lesson? Anyway once the children were reassured that it was alright with their teacher that I "play teacher" (they don't yet quite understand that I am a teacher too) they seemed to really like the activity. We went skiing for art. We taped popsicle sticks to our fingers, dipped them in white paint, and "skied" with them on a "mountain" of dark paper. The children really got into making ski tracks and painting with the popsicle skis and the paintings turned out pretty cool - some are just gobs of paint but some are real tracks that look like "ski tracks" or paths. Everyone got to feel what it was like to finger ski and to paint snow with skis. I am slightly decorated myself with splattered paint (in my hair, on my clothes, on my arms) but it went really well for a first activity. I am pretty proud of that one - I think it was really creative and a fun sensory, motor, and experience art activity.

So anyone know where I can get a good deal on velcro? (Just kidding!!!!)

Help, call 911! I think I broke his neck!

So this does not directly relate to student teaching except it is a requirement for teacher certification and graduation so in my opinion it counts. Yesterday I took a Red Cross adult CPR/First Aid course (so now all I need is infant/child whenever they schedule it next month) and it was quite interesting. The group was fun: there were several "big tough men" who work for some kind of manly company - construction, heavy equipment, demolition, something along those lines - about six Mennonite (sp?) women and two men who were incredibly nice, a married older couple, and me. May I point out we were in a room that was designed to hold way fewer people and had the heat blasting no matter what we did? So first we learned how to remove gloves without contaminating ourselves...gee I think I have been doing that since my freshman year each time I change a diaper and my method is actually better than hers because mine end up with the gloves wrapped up in a ball dity sides in rather than dripping everywhere. Then was choking and I refused to be a test dummy for practicing hand position as if someone accidentally presses on my stomach they will see everything that I have eaten in the past 12 hours :)

Next came rescue breathing and I felt relatively comfortable as I have been certified twice before. Because of this the women in my group (and the older couple - man turned out to be an ex-EMT with a know it all attitude) decided I should go first. No problem. I do the role playing: survey the scene, shake the dummy (no, not the guy with the attitude although in a few minutes I really wanted to shake him instead :P), tell someone to call 911, check for breathing, and go to give two breaths. Place two fingers under the chin, a hand on the forehead and tilt back, pinch nose, give a breath.....nothing happens. Mr. Know-it-all starts telling me what I am doing wrong. So I politely take into account his coments and try again. Place two fingers under the chin, hand on the forehead and tilt back, pinch nose strongly, get probably the biggest seal on his mouth possible and give a breath.....nothing. More advice from Mr. Knows Everything. Finally I place one hand as hard as I can on his forehead the other hand firmly under his jaw and yank his head backwards to what must be an unnatural angle, pinch the nose, seal on the mouth, give a breath....success!! Apparently I was working with a real "Stiff" and you had to basically break his neck to get his head back far enough to get any air into him. Everyone who went after me had the same trouble I did and had to fight to get the head back. Later the instructor pointed out that the dummy (the test dummy, not the one I wanted to kill by that point) was unusually stiff and hard to tilt - thanks for the info after the fact!

So we are on to CPR. Watch the video (which I can not see) and a demonstration (which I can barely see) and then its do it yourself time. We will be failed if hand position is wrong because apparently if hand position is wrong you break things and puncture things..go figure. So I watch everyone else go and do this with varying degrees of success and corrections made and decide to not require any corrections to show Mr. Perfect. So Mr. Knows it all goes up and starts his CPR routine and begins to give chest compressions about a good 4-6" above where his hands are supposed to be. The instructor has to go up and show him the correct hand position again (he sat in the very front of the class where as I was in the back behind many people) and made him start over. So apparently he talks big but is not quite so perfect....also his last time as an EMT was somewhere in the 1980s and times have changed sir. :P Finally it is my turn and I refuse to need corrections but I also could not see anything during the film and demonstration so I decide to figure out the hand position before I do the routine. The instructor starts freaking out and asks me why on earth I am starting compressions and I hastily explain that I could not see anything and I want to find the hand position before I start to make sure I understand. At that she is very apologetic, comes up to assist me in finding where my hands go, and makes sure I understand. Then I go through the routine with full force (i.e. look as good as I can and make it real) without any mistakes or corrections. She laughed and said I definitely have the "take command of the situation" part down....guess it comes from working with toddlers and really wanting to yell at that guy for the past hour+ and finally having a chance :)

First aid was boring as I have also done it many times before and I know quite well how to bandage, how to treat sudden illness/injury, what the signs of illnesses are, and how to/when to do things like splint and apply pressure to arteries. The instructor was my victim so I worked with her for my two skills tests, control bleeding and sling/splint. Controlling bleeding was so easy but i went through the routine and did the calming/reassuring thing as well as elevating, holding pressure, using a roller bandage (ace bandage), and applying pressure. When she told me I did excellent bandaging I had to smile and tell her I had a long history with ace bandages. For the sling/splint I did the same thing and she commented on my ability to definitely be reassuring and calming in any situation (LOL yeah right just as long as no one vomits its all good) but said I tied it too loose...I explained I knew that but choking the instructor was not on my list of things to do today. :)

So I spent my one day off, my one day to sleep in and wasted 6 hours to get certified having learned nothing other than that apparently sometimes you need to break someone's neck to breathe for them! :) And that ex-EMTs are more annoying in a CPR/First Aid course than a thousand mosquitos while camping or a thousand ants at a picnic..at least you can kill them :P Infant and child CPR will be a shorter course and just as easy as I have done it before as well and MR. Know it all should not be there.

Funny comment: When I learned CPR in high school I had walking pneumonia so I was not breathing all that well and my resistance was down. Also all they had for the dummies was a cleaning solution - no disposable mouth covers. So the teacher and I agreed that it was best for me to not put my mouth on the dummy and instead I just waved my hand over the mouth and said "breathe" each time a breath was required. So when I was doing rescue breathing and CPR I had a moment where I almost did that because it had been done so many times in high school that way. That would have gone over so well....try explaining that one!

There'd Be Day's Like This...and... Amazing Wonderboy

Two, Two, Two days in one (I was too lazy to write yesterday - go figure!)

Yesterday was "One of Those Days". I am supposed to be in the classroom at 8:30 and I managed to turn my alarm clock off in my sleep and did not wake up until exactly 8:30. SOOOO not a good thing within the first weeks of student teaching. I made it inside the classroom less than ten minutes later, before 8:40, and I had done all the necessities (contacts, brushed teeth, brushed hair - kind of as it went into a ponytail, dressed- clothing matched too!, and grabbed a jacket). How on earth I did that is beyond me!! So I was half asleep when I arrived and that's not a good way to begin a day, I am also sick from a combination of an infection I never got over at Christmas and the children sharing their germs with me so nicely so that makes me feel oh so much better. ;) In the course of the day I was peed on (yuck!), kicked several times (why do kids need hard soled shoes???), spit on, and chased a child around the classroom to try and make him go to the bathroom only to end up surrendering after a 15 minute standoff in the bathroom. Yes surrendering was a bad move in the immediate picture but he is a child with behavior issues and unless I can earn his trust and respect I will get nowhere so a standoff isn't a great place to begin - we made a deal to go to circle together and then he could go to the bathroom after circle with the lead teacher but she got busy and it never happened. I did narrowly miss being vomited on thankfully by a few minute delay of schedule - so that was a blessing!! At one point yesterday five children were all having meltdowns at once - one because he could not have his favorite colored blocks (the child is obsessed with red, everything red and only red), one was doing the "I want mommy" routine, one is a champion whiner and was going off for some small tragedy (understandably she has no ability to cope right now but its hard to help her when she runs and whines/screams over every tiny thing), another child was crying because they had been hit, and a final child just thought yelling along with everyone else because he was angry would be a good idea. CHAOS!! The co-teacher was switched out for the morning and the lead teacher was working with small groups so there was an unfamiliar new teacher working with the rest of the class (I was supposed to observe small groups). Naptime was a nice, nice, nice time!!! I also have a bruise on my leg from those hard soled shoes of a child I help sit during circle time....I am thinking a nice pair of soft slippers would be great for the classroom, or socks :)

Amazing wonderboy was today, a very different day from yesterday!! The one little boy who is so behaviorally out of control at times had the most incredible afternoon! He followed teacher directions without any significant protest (no running, screaming, hitting, throwing), he played really well with another child, he allowed me to change his dirty pants without any protest at all (as compared to yesterday's full out fight and battle), he willingly shared with another child agreeing to take turns with measuring sticks/rulers, he waited patiently for a turn with a new puzzle, he followed directions even when he did not want to and made excellent choices!! It was an amazing, terrific, wonderful, awesome, incredible, super afternoon! In his terms it was a three sticker afternoon with a lot of praise and a good report when he went home. At times I wondered if this was the same child that walked in the door this morning and if I could have this child forever please. All I can say is WOW!!

Today I also had an insight into the colorful vocabulary of a three year old. While outside on the playground one child was yelling at/near the teacher and used a phrase ending in the words Mother F*****. We looked at each other and she asked me if the child had just said what she thought she heard. At that moment the phrase was used again with a pretty clear Mother F***** at the end again. So how do you handle that one?? If you make a big deal out of it the child will use those words all the time because they now know they get your attention and create a response, but you also do not want those words being used often in the class either. Later in the day the word B**** also came out of the child's little mouth so this one has picked up some words I did not learn until I was much much older.

There are also identical twins split between two classrooms that play together outside and today was a mini-crisis of trying to figure out which child belonged to which class. The children will try to switch classes, will lie about who they are, and will try to confuse you. Their mother also insists on dressing them identically down to barettes, socks, and shoes. So that was fun to watch - I still can not tell them apart no matter what tricks are told to me so I pray for one to have to be changed during the day so the clothes no longer match when they are together. If the situation occurs when I teach I may invest in barettes to switch to mark children or colored shoe laces or something - stamp hands each morning, tatoo them (just kidding), something.

I ended up staying really late today because the co teacher was out sick and it seemed like they could use an extra set of hands. Since I had nothing else I had to do it worked out well and I got to see the Amazing Wonderboy! I also received a certificate of appreciation thing which is awesome, its only my second week of student teaching and I had no idea they had anything like that for "staff", even if I did I would have never expected to get one because I am just a student teacher.

OK, this is long, I am exhausted, and i have lessons to figure out for next week (art).

:)

Stunned Silence

OK, so my injury report continues to grow (as I knew it would working with young children) - there was the bruised cheek from early last week, then I managed to forcefully implant a staple in my thumb (don't ask but boy did it bleed), then I took several punches to the face while helping break up a fist fight during circle time (actual fist fight between two boys who are not considered as having special needs), and today a minor elbow to the nose. Is it just me or does this sound like a three ring circus? :)

The fist fight during circle time left me shocked because one minute the two boys were sitting in relative peace listening to the story and the next minute they are in a full out beat each other senseless fist fight. As in you can hear the punches landing fist fight. So the lead teacher grabs one and I grab the other (the wilder one) resulting in a few good punches to my face before I manage to get his arms down. These boys feed off of one another and are constantly at each other in some primal ritual of male dominance - its the same thing adult males do at sporting events and the like only on a three year old level. Most of the time its kind of funny even though you get a little tired of redirecting them apart from one another but that shocked me for a minute - boxing in the classroom!! The one little boy has a lot of aggression and seems unable to comply with directions even when you know it is something he truly wants to do - it could be his favorite activity, his favorite food, or a wonderful reward but if you ask/tell him to do it he can't seem to help but scream NO! and go into a full out protest tantrum. It must be so frustrating for him to be out of control so much of the time and to be unable to comply even when it is something he really wants to do. Yet he has not been evaluated for that and is not considered special needs - I am concerned more about what will happen in a regular elem. school setting when he is older than with preschool because he is in such a wonderful school right now and for how miserable he seems a lot of the time. He is such a sweet child when he is in control and can show a great personality during those times.

Today another thing that absolutely stopped my heart for a moment was a comment made by a little girl in the class who got upset before naptime by a "my family" type display of hers on the wall. I was trying to figure out what made her so incredibly upset and she told me that her daddy wanted her dead and her mommy wanted her gone. OK, that is so not in any of my teaching manuals and we have never covered that in any of my courses. I held her for a minute and thought as fast as my jumbled mind could - I mean what can you say to that? So I ignored the daddy part - I know nothing about that, where the idea came from, who her daddy is, or what her mommy has told her about her daddy- and reassured her that her mommy loves her a lot, that lots of people love her and no one wants her gone. She calmed down and then told me her mommy doesnt want her dead. With a few more hugs and time on my lap she totally calmed down and was able to fall asleep for naptime and nothing more was said about that the rest of the day. However I think my heartrate topped out at about 200 and took an hour to drop....how on earth do you handle that situation with a three year old child??? Good grief, I a used to "so-and-so said she isn't my friend anymore" or "I want mommy" not anything like that!!!!

I think I may be slowly adjusting to my schedule as yesterday and today I have not needed naps after teaching so that is great!! Yesterday I stayed late at the school to help out as I had nothing else I needed to do right away and it was helpful to the teachers (plus I like getting to spend more time getting to know and hang out with my kids). Today I finally met with the lead teacher so I did not stay late in the classroom but I am definitely enjoying my time there a lot. Discipline continues to be my biggest issue - I can handle some of the kids perfectly well and they listen to me but some seem to seeme as having no authority and I need to figure out how to gain that rapidly. Maybe by gaining trust, respect, and a friendship.....

OK, I have a ton of paperwork to complete by tomorrow and I would like to finish before midnight. Regular teaching paperwork is not bad but all the extras of student teaching on top of standard teacher paperwork adds up to a lot of computer time. :)

Days One and Two

Hi!

Wow am I exhausted! Yesterday I came back to my room and took a three hour nap and today I took a two hour nap (unintentionally) after "work". But something tells me that is not what I should be writing about. :)

My first day went really well and I wish I had made time to write yesterday to get the immediate reaction to it but after sleeping so long and having to get some things done I just ran out of time. It is a little strange because the lead teacher is gone this week so the co-teacher is leading and there is a substitute in the classroom (who hearing the word "teacher" in "student teacher" thinks I must know everything about the kids, classroom, etc.) and then a 1:1 aide for a specific child who will be there daily. The co-teacher is really nice and has gone out of her way to try and help me while trying to juggle new people in the classroom, children who are testing all the new people in the classroom (oh what fun for me!!), teach all of the activities or give directions since I do not know the routine perfectly yet, and manage special needs.

The children are an interesting, challenging, sweet, adorable, unique bunch of kids that are going to make me laugh, smile, think, be patient, learn to be firm, be creative, problem solve, and never ever leave me with a dull moment. Quick question- what do you do when a child misbehaves during naptime, send them to timeout?? Cause other than firm voice and counting there really isn't a whole heck of a lot at your disposal and it stinks!! And a few of the kids have more energy inside of them than firecrackers - try holding one of them during circle time :) it sure is a challenge but she is a sweet thing as well and she actually will choose to sit in my lap even though I make her sit and will control her. So far the only battle wound is a sore cheek from today on the playground when I did not move fast enough when pushing a swing and took a head to the cheek bone....funny thing is the kid did not even seem to feel it but I sure did!! I spent all of one outside time and most of the afternoon one today pushing three little girls on the swings as they kept shouting "higher" and giggling. I may have started something here...but its a good workout for the arms if you remember to step back once you release the swing!! (note to self about that one!)

Overall I am feeling more comfortable as I get to know the classroom and the children. A lot of the nervousness has gone away and I feel relatively confident in my abilities although trying to control the entire group with those firecrackers may be quite a challenge for me. I can do discipline pretty well on an individual basis but when several go off at once backup is appreciated ;) I have yet to get up early enough to actually have breakfast which is not good but I will keep trying and I know soon I will adapt to the new sleep schedule - its only been two days. So things are good, I am excited, and I can and will do this!!!

Twas the Night Before Teaching.....

Twas the night before teaching
And all through the mind
Worries were stirring
Of almost every kind*

*Note, the author is not to be held accountable for the really bad attempt at poetry/humor*

Student teaching begins tomorrow and the emotions that are floating around inside of my mind/heart are of quite a wide assortment. I am so excited to begin this next step but also very anxious because it is something new, it is the unknown and something I have never done before. For some reason anything new, any new step or transition makes me worry and uneasy even though I have faith in my abilities. I am proud to be here after four + years of very hard work, I am unsure of what to expect, I am cautious about having any expectations, I am confident in my abilities but yet a bit afraid of failing because this is it - there is nothing else between now and graduation, between now and being an independent teacher. The thing is I have done the whole "independent teacher in charge of a classroom" thing twice before (although I conceed once was more like crowd control) and I handled it very well (OK, so 5 year olds at naptime were not the greatest but that was not all my fault- the other teacher had no control over them either and what punishment could I do, put them in time out??). So I think my biggest cause of any uneasiness is just the waiting for tomorrow, the fact that it is the unknown and once I am in the classroom and I get a sense of what it is going to be like the next 7 1/2 weeks will be wonderful. Then the anxiousness will creep back in as I transition to the next round of student teaching but I will not think about that tonight. So I will relax, try not to think about the enormous amount of work involved in the next 4 months of my life (teaching, paperwork, course work for the seminar, trying to find a job), and await tomorrow. Let the fun begin!!!!